Doctor Who anticipation

Just watching a show called 'The Noughties, inane chat about' or some such thing.

They started talking about Doctor Who and when they chatted about old Who they said that not a lot of effort went into the old monsters. Well of course if you show clips from the Peladon episodes (Ice Warriors, Penis monster) you make the show look bad. What about the Cybermen, Zygons, Sea Devils, Sylurians, Sil, Daleks, Morbius... the list goes on of amazing designs and craft work that people should really be very proud of. Its a bit crappy that hard work, creativity and acheivement on a budget gets dismissed so offhandedly.

But they didn't end there. Of course several pointed out that HAHAHHAHAHA old Doctor Who was filmed in a quarry!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA ALL THE PLANETS LOOKED THE SAME!!!!!!!!

Never mind Planet of Evil or Logopolis or The Brain of Morbius or countless other episodes that created alien worlds without the use of a quarry. But even ignoring them, where else do you film in Britain? Britain has quarries. Unfortunately Doctor Who didn't have Yosemite park on its doorstep, they had to make do.

But worst of all is this is such a trite thing to say. Why hire comedians or commentators if they aren't at least going to TRY and come up with something new to say. Otherwise just hire me to read out a list of cliches to read out about a show.

Magic Roundabout? Its about drugs HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Star Trek? Red shirts always die HAHAHAHAHAHA
Crossroads? THE SETS WOBBLED!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!
DOCTOR WHO? THEY FILMED IT IN FUCKING QUARRIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAAHAHAHAHAHA

I could do that.
Seriously.
TV, give me a job.

Excited about Doctor Who tomorrow.
Merry Christmas.

Rush Limburk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNK4byQkn7w&NR=1

Brilliant.

The word bitch

A while ago I was at my brother's house and I happenned to see Nigella Lawson on the telly. I had been finding it difficult to get a job for some time and felt like voicing a particular annoyance...

"I heard she only got her first job because her dad was in with the editor of the paper. She's never done chef training or anything. What a bitch."

No sooner had I said that than my brother's fiance told me-

"Jon, we don't use gender denominational insults in this house."

For a moment I was quite shocked. Had I used one?

"Bitch? But that's not gender denominational, it's like calling a man a dick. They are interchangable. It's the same thing, I merely make the distinction as a matter of protocol like Mr. or Ms. I just think she's been a jammy dick."

"Jon, you're a man, you don't understand the male privilege that exists in society."

At this point I should make clear that I don't remember the exact terms of her arguments and almost certainly will not represent them accurately here. Simply put, they are much better than they I rememeber them.

"Bitch is gender denominational, its a way of keeping women down."

"I don't want to keep women down. I'm all for equal rights. I just think she's been a jammy cunt. ... I'm joking of course."

It never really developed into an argument, at least not between the two of us. However in my mind a huge debate was sparked.

Bitch? Witch? Twat? Cunt?

Had I, over the years, unknowingly been using language that in years to come would seem as offensive and derogatory as the word nigger does now. I didn't use the language in a sexist manner. At least not when I didn't intend to, and generally that is meant ironically. But by using the word had I been reinforcing an attitude. Certainly the words dick, cock, bastard and wanker have maleness associated with them (in my mind at least) but apart from wanker the maleness does not seem to suggest weakness specifically tied up with gender.

Bitch on the other hand can be used in two main ways, to call a woman mean or to call someone feeble. It is the latter that I feel is the sexist of the two as it seems to indicate feebleness by attaching femininity to the subject.

"But that wasn't how I was using it" says my brain "I was just calling her a jammy bitch for getting a fucking job."
"Yes, but could not a non-racist say a similar thing about a racial slur they use. That they didn't mean it in a racist way"
"maybe"
"Would they think they were doing a bad thing?"
"no."
"exactly"
"oh my god brain, you're such a little bitch"
"Meaning?"
"...meaning you're feeble..."
"And you've illustrated that how?"
"By using a word with female connotations to describe you"
"yes Jon. Don't you see? You're as bad as the racists."
"I am brain. I am. I see that now. I must make a change."

So from that moment on I declared I would never use the word bitch again!




But I did.

And to add insult to injury Steve Bennett has left the article about Johnny Ball as the leading story for the 3rd day in a row despite new stories coming out.
He's in his 70s, he has one wild opinion and everyone must know.

Saw the show last night and loved it. Ball was old fashioned, with a few jokes that would be near the knuckle if they werent busy shaking off cobwebs, but ultimately harmless. In fact his bit on Isaac Newton was a particularly inspiring part of the night.

Unfortunately I am a jaded individual so when he talks optimistically about the future and our potential I can't help thinking that the human race is actually doomed and unlikely to have much of a future, much less a bright one.

The rest of the night was filled with mainly ups and a few middles but hardly any downs. Josie Long was a high point for the comedy and numerous doctors and scientists made funny, impassioned and inspiring speeches about topics such as libel, Earth's size in the universe and the building blocks of life. There were some great musical acts but stealing the show and sharing it between them were the two acts that ended the first and the second halves. Barry Cryer with Ronnie Golden were funny, charming and led the audience in a song about peace and quiet which got louder, more overblown and funnier as it went on. While not quite matching the scale, the rapper Baba Brinkman gave a rendition of two pieces about evolution, the second of which was breathtaking it was so good.

What a lovely show. Well worth it. Just a pity that proceedings seem to be overshadowed in some corners by a desire to make sure everyone knows that an old man has a foolish opinion.

Johnny A-Ball-ed (Apalled)

I am in the lucky position of having procured a last minute ticket to tomorrow's Nine Lessons and Carols for Godless People. I checked the line up to see who was going to be on and was delighted with who I saw, especially Johnny Ball, of whom I have fond yet faint memories of from childhood (from the telly, not in person).

Unfortunately Mr. Ball has apparently committed a cardinal sin.
He has denied climate change.

Before I go on I want to make two things quite clear. 1. I do believe in climate change, I find most of the arguements against it a bit ridiculous and 2. I have no idea if I am right seeing as all I know of it has come from the media and second hand sources. I have never conducted any research myself and if asked why I believed in it I would only be able to grasp at the explanations with the same clumsiness that deniers espouse their weak arguments.

I read about Mr. Ball's outburst in both an article and a review on Chortle. Apparently the audience slow hand clapped him and booed him off as he became slightly incoherent in his denials of climate change.

I find it all a bit distateful. I don't agree with the man and I understand that Nine Lessons and Carols is a celebration of science. But I worry about the certainty that everyone now has about climate change and the instant denial of anyone who opposes the theories. Surely the point of Nine Lessons and Carols is to hear differrent points of view, to celebrate opinions that would be shot down by the closed minded and to enjoy toleration of things we might not want to hear.

I see the other side of the issue, it is my own side if I were to debate the point, but that's the problem, the dismissal of debate. The audeince, the other acts and Steve Bennett have jumped on Johnny Ball and treated him as if he is insane. Maybe he has valid arguments. They may turn out to be wrong but that doesn't mean they aren't part of the conversation.

I spent a lot of time researching creationists this year, it made me really question how much I had taken my own beliefs in evolution for granted without really looking into and interogating them. Being exposed to the opposing sides arguments didnt destroy my belief in science but it did make me want to find out WHY science tells us what it does. Furthermore discussion with creationists leads to a greater understanding on their part far more than dismissing their beliefs or pushing them away.

This instant disrespect will not have helped Johnny Ball's understanding of the issue and it has only polarised the issue even more. You need to talk to people you dont agree with, you need to hear them out and engage with their points no matter how repugnant or ill-informed they are. Otherwise you are as bad as the Top Gear presenters who don't care and won't listen.

I think we need to combat climate change right now, along with overpopulation I think it is one of our greatest problems. But the response to Johnny Ball has been one of smugness and ignorance masquerading as knowingness. I didn't wish to go to a smug, self satisfied love in for like minded people who disregard any disagreements. I could go to Church for that.

I had a bad thought today.

Maybe its because I'm tired or maybe its because I am basically evil.
I enquired about the whereabouts of a friend and was told that they were at a funeral.

This is a fair excuse for being absent in any situation. Any situation apart from if you are a priest and its your excuse to be absent from another funeral.

That is unacceptable. Priests should never double book funerals. I know you get more money if you double book on Saturday night, kick off a funeral in Vauxhall and headline at a funeral on the Mile End road but lets be fair, if one overruns you've spoilt an audience's evening. And its not fair on up and coming priests who could use the work.

anyway I was told that my friend was at a funeral my immediate thought was "Oh. I hope it isnt anyone good."

This isnt the first time I have had a callous thought along those lines.

When George Harrison, the second Beatle to die, died my immediate thought was "They are unquestionably dying in the wrong order. I bet Ringo will be last."

Perhaps worse when Grandad Brittain, the second grandparent to die, died my immediate thought was "They are unquestionably dying in the wrong order. I bet Nana Linfield will be last."

I realised that I have unknowingly categorised people in my life based on the order in which I would be happy for them to die. I am not saying I want any of them to die, just that if I had to choose one to pop their cloggs tomorrow I'd know which one I'd prefer.

If they remade Sophie's Choice as Jon Brittain's Choice the central character would be a lot less conflicted. Maybe if Sophie had put some thought into it like I have she wouldn't have made such a fuss and would have weighed up her children's pros and cons before the Nazi's made her choose.

"choose which child will die."
"my little girl."
"what?"
"my little girl."
"you've decided?"
"yep."
"oh."
"any problems?"
"I just thought... I thought you'd want to agonise over it a bit more."
"Nope, I spent some time thinking about it a while back and yep, its my little girl."
"oh. that's pretty callous."
"you're a nazi."
"good point. Well off you go little girl."
"MUMMY!"
"Sorry, but you should have helped with the dishes more often, I told you it would affect your score."

I think the whole affair would have ended much more positively.

Joke #I don't know

I don't understand why the King's got Jesus Mer as well.
Gold for christmas, frankensense for his birthday, why the third?